Lady J Speaks

What Are You Releasing in the New Year?

2011-01-11T06:36:00.000-08:00

Another year has passed again already! How quickly these years are flying by, especially as you get older (smile). Like every human being on December 31st at 11:59pm, we made every decision in the book to make life different in 2011. By February, half the vows we made to ourselves or to those who dared to listen to us will probably not happen in 2011.

But if there is just ONE thing we can determine to do, we can determine to release offense in our lives. We can determine not to live our lives attached to our hurts or to those who may have hurt us. Having lived long enough, I realize that I have offended people, as much as, people offended me. However, if I keep holding the offense then I can never move ahead to accept all that my future has for me. The sadder moment is that I stayed trapped, while the one who may have offended me moves on in life. What in the world!

So this past New Year's Eve, I determined to live my life offense free! I realize I will get offended, but I don't have to be trapped in the offense! I am not willing to give up all that lays ahead of me because of an individual. My life is more valuable than that. So today, make a decision to let go of past offenses. You may not follow through with a diet or shedding of those unwanted pounds that you vowed on December 31st, but you can make a decision to move beyond those things that keep you trapped and keep you from moving forward.

A little secret it is not the diet that helps us shed the pounds, but it is a change of a lifestyle and way of thinking. Let's change our way of thinking about offenses and move forward in getting the best results out of our lives.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas to All & To All A Goodnight!

2010-12-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. As a child, living in the projects of Massachusetts, my parents always made holidays special for seven children. If it was standing in a line to get a box of free toys from Globe Santa or cashing in S&H green stamps to have gifts under a tree, every moment was wrapped with love. Filling our air with baked goods helped us feel as special as any other child. Now being a mother of five my husband and I have begun making our own memories for the last 28 years. Leaving a legacy of love, laughter and joy in the air as we gathered around the tree and share stories and laugh at the Muppets Christmas Carol and The Christmas Story ( just to name a few) meant so much to us. For this holiday season make the moments count- bake some cookies, make a hot cider drink relax with family and friends and laugh your head off! These moments are free! Don't let the thoughts of a recession rob you of these moments! Make the decision to rejoice in the season!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Successful Leaders Move Beyond Barriers!

2010-10-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

I am now in my 6th day in India teaching a group of remarkable people in the Northern territory of India.

From October 12th through the 15th I was in Delhi and I had an opportunity to see the history of the nation through many historical landmarks like forts, historical monuments and the number one wonder of the world--the Taj Mahal. What a rich reflection of heritage in some areas and such heart wrenching poverty in other parts of the country. As a leader I realized periodically it is good for me to go abroad to give myself to a people who can't give back to me. Living eleven days out of my own comfort zone to get a better appreciation for what life is really about helps me to understand a larger spectrum of issues in this world. Leaders, isn't this what we are really called to do instead of being at ease in Zion? Stay posted as I share more on the subject on this missionary journey. I have more days to go:)

Preparing for legacy,

Lady J

The Inception of a Dream

2010-08-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

I know many of you might have recently saw the hit blockbuster "Inception. " Well needless to say I left speechless knowing how with a few technology experts, others can share your dreams. My husband brought it to my attention that usually in every dream there is always someone else in there with you, whether you want them there or not. Obviously then a dream is not just for you, but for you to share with others. You know those dreams you decided to push aside thinking no one really cares? Well someone does. God always intended for you to share your dreams and for them to not only be a blessing to you, but for others also. Ask Joseph in the Bible. His dream was not only for him or his family, but for a whole nation! Can you even picture your dream turning a whole nation right side up? Begin to believe it and don't let intruders intercept your inception. Want a place to fertilize your dream? Meet me at my Women's Conference, September 15-19 2010. Check our website http://www.crcglobal/ for more details. Listen... don't take your dreams to the grave, or else no one will be able to benefit from them.

Where are the Men?

2010-06-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

I never thought the moment would come so quickly that I would be sitting in a new student orientation for the youngest son of my loins at North Carolina A&T.

As my husband and I walked from building to building in the scorching heat of 97 degrees, we felt like rotisserie chickens cooking! We huffed and puffed our silent parental love and commitment to our children. We rearranged our busy schedules to drive 4 hours, with one eye open and one eye closed to sit in new student lecture #5 from president and faculty. Why? Because it us our parental responsibility to the successful future of our children. One of my disturbing observations as I perused the audience over my 2nd day visit was that there was only 10 adult men in attendance. Where were the fathers, uncles, grandfathers or big brothers?

Were they just working? Were they AWOL in the child's life? Was the sacrifice worth it? A moment of a lifetime for your daughter and or for your son. When does the cycle of absenteeism stop! If our sons and daughters make it thus far in their education, should we not jump into the journey with them? When My husband and I counted this cost for the fifth time and after taking big gulps of water I asked myself, "what is a little heat?" After flopping into the hotel bed, "what is a little lack of sleep?" At the end of the day, the rewards are priceless! This is a clarion call to all fathers, big brothers, uncles and grandfathers, it's time to make a difference and make it difficult for our children to fail.

From Black & White to Color

2010-05-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

Everybody who knows me understands my deep passion for Turner Classic Movies. My husband always tells me that television is now in “color” and that I don’t always have to watch television in black and white. However, there is something about the movie scripts of those old classics that help me to remember how life used to be when it came to loyalty, friendship, dedication and family values.

Oh, I know that there was some behind the scenes discontent in people’s lives and what we always saw was not always what was portrayed. But my friend, in “full Technicolor” gone are the days of what it meant to be true to one’s self, devotion and family morals.

In Technicolor we are smeared with wife/husband swapping shows, no loyalty in friendships and huge amounts of disrespect for life. No wonder our news is filled with heavy percentages of divorce, kids emotionally abusing other kids and no respect for life. Gone are the days when we tried to play these characteristics down in black and white. Everyone wants “Technicolor”. It looks better in color!

Some of us thought of Audrey Hepburn as the epitome of beauty and poise, now we have Lady Gaga because she has more color pizzaz! Now our devotion is to try to live out colorful reality shows, just to come to the conclusion that it is what it is-- just a “show”.

Realistically, I know we can’t go back to yesterday and only some of us will be committed black and white die hards. There are many great attributes to embrace in the “now” however, we can’t let the color blind us from being loyal in our families, learning how to get along with other people and holding a healthy respect for life.

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

2010-04-22T05:58:00.000-07:00

In the music industry there has been so many songs and lyrics in relation to broken hearts, “Where do broken hearts go?” as well as, the newest hit, “Sleeping with a broken heart”. Both men and women wake up and realize one day that their heart has been trampled on by someone that they loved.

Some have walked through the process of healing and some have yet to experience a true healing of their emotions. The circle of trust once again must be re-established so that one does not make an assumption that all individuals are the same.
However, in our time of brokenness there is so much we could learn. Remember, we too play a part of this broken piece of the puzzle. There could be a number of things that led to this point of brokenness in our lives. Unkindness in our words, how we judge the other person or could it be that we have issues ourselves? Believe it or not, we could be just as wrong and could play the part in breaking a heart too.

But, what do we do when we find ourselves here? Where do we go with our emotions? Well, just telling it to a close friend can be helpful for the moment. However, when it comes to our damaged emotions a quick fix is simply not enough. Seeking professional counseling would help to get a corrective perception of your dilemma that would result in a long lasting effect on your future relationships.

Also, when it is all said and done no one knows us like the one who created us. When a kitchen appliance is broken you take it back to the manufacturer. You take it back to the one who made the product. When we are experiencing a broken area of our lives, going back to the one who created us, our Heavenly Father not only mends the broken place temporarily but puts in us the ability to heal completely so that when the vulnerability comes around again, we have the right parts to withstand.

Oh my friend, it is not healthy to think that you can shield your heart forever. Unless you plan on living in a cave or simply leaving this world you will get hurt again. But where do we go when the hurt is insurmountable and too hard to handle? Can I suggest to you my friend that you make the choice to go to the right source? This will make all the difference in the world for your continual existence on this earth.

Come on take a risk again, life is worth it!

How Do YOU Smell?

2010-03-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a question to have to ask yourself. But we had to ask ourselves this question while struggling through a love-hate relationship with the book, “Having a Mary Spirit” by Joanna Weaver. We have been gathering together every fourth Friday of the month in our Book Club to discuss the good, bad and the ugly.
As women, we all think we smell pretty good when we cover our outside with Prada, Juicy Couture, Vera Wang or another great smelling cologne. Or gulp down a peppermint without brushing our teeth. But that is not the kind of “smell” I am talking about. When you are in the presence of others, what causes the “Flesh Woman” to make you smell offensive?
Joanna, shares a very cute story about her “Flesh Woman” experience with her four year old son that we can all relate to in some way or another. Let me paraphrase it for you.
“We were in a tug of war of the wills. We went back and forth, neither one of us willing to give in or admit that we were out of line. I would ask him to do something and he wouldn’t. Our total frustration brought us both to a nose-to-nose confrontation. I said John Michael your attitude stinks! With one hand on my hip, I pointed my finger in his little face. I summed up the problem, because he needed correcting. But I saw something else in his eyes. It was as though I’d taken his heart and crumpled it like a juice box. While his defiance may have melted slightly, I could see hurt flooding in to take its place. “Oh yeah?” he said in a small trembling voice. A voice I needed to hear. ‘Well your breath doesn’t smell very good either.” From the mouth of babes!”1
When we try to do a “quick fix” to a problem rather than deal with what fault line is lurking on the inside of us, then we will always struggle with the “Flesh Woman”. Character flaws that go unchecked never lay dormant for long. They always find a way to resurrect themselves.
If you want to know how you are doing on the “Smelly scale” ask a real friend. One who wants to make sure you smell your best at all times. Don’t ask a husband that you have to sleep with or that friend that you can intimidate.
But a true friend will never let you walk around like the character “Pigpen” of Peanuts leaving a residue of a bad smell. That friend will help you to stop wrestling with the “Flesh Woman” and transform into the “Spirit Woman” designed by God.
Come on friend let’s continue this journey together with our author, Joanna Weaver.

1 Weaver, Joanna; “Having a Mary Spirit”; Waterbrook Press; Santa Rosa California; 2006; pg. 47

FEAR

2010-03-15T12:19:00.001-07:00

Lady J Book Club ladies:

We covered so much in our last book club gathering in February. Our author, Joanna Weaver has been truly enlightening through her non-defensive writings. Today, I want to capitalize on one key area of our sharing and that is removing fear from our emotions. Fear is such a crippling disease. It keeps us from moving forward and grabbing hold to what belongs to us.

You may have heard me share this story many times before that I am not fond of mice. I have a real natural fear of those little creatures. I know many people tell me that we are larger than them, but that doesn’t matter they create great fear in my life. I have gone from jumping in chairs while taking dictation from my boss to jumping on top of pool tables because of seeing a mouse. May I remind you that I am not a small framed lady in any sense of the word. However, just the thought of seeing a mouse in front of me or on television, paralyzes my emotions.

Now, you may not have this kind of fear for these little furry creatures, but there may be another kind of fear that puts a strong demand on your emotions that disengages you from moving forward. Just to list a few: fear of the past, fear of moving into an unknown territory or fear of starting all over again in a relationship. Whatever the case may be, don’t let fear paralyze you!

As the author stated in her book, “don’t let a fearful heart cause you to shrink from duty or compromise your principles.” Neither should you think that making a strong commitment to move forward will cause some prominent person would think less of you. If they do, they will get over it! Kathy Bates did, in the movie Fried Green Tomatoes. When her amazon female alter ego “Twanda” came out, she stood up for herself and took control.

You may not have an alter ego character, but the power of God in you should stand up and take control over every paralyzing situation in your life so that you can move forward successfully.

Until next time, on our journey of reading we will discover what kind of spirit we operate out of most of the time. We will ask: is it critical? Competitive? Or controlling? HHHMMM!?!

Note: Lady J Book Club meets every 4th Friday of the month @ l2 noon at Calvary Revival Church. We are reading Having a Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver…for more information check out my website http://www.janeenmcbath.com/

Moments of Contentment

2010-02-23T11:01:00.000-08:00

Contentment in the 2lst century is not a natural response for us. We are faced with so much pain, economic stress and struggle that place demands on our peace.

Listen we don’t even have to sow these brambles they just come up naturally. Apostle Paul says, “…I have learned to be content” (Phil 4:1) Paul even knew to be content doesn’t come naturally, but it must take time to be learned.

I like the smell and look of beautiful flowers. However, I don’t have the greenest thumb to care for them at times. But someone said if you want flowers there must be a garden and a gardener’s care in order to cultivate the garden. Therefore just liking flowers was not good enough. There must be the cultivation for life.

That is how peace and contentment is to God’s kingdom. Peace is given to us, as Christians, but we must know how to cultivate it. We must take on the discipline of the gardener and exercise contentment in an unstable generation through our continual relationship with Him.

Discipline allows us to experience powerful moments of contentment on a daily basis. This kind of contentment will come naturally and be acquired gradually as we need it.

So together let’s quiet our murmurings, natural though they may be, and become a student in the School of Contentment.

Check out Bishop Courtney McBath’s messages on “Pursuing Kingdom Life” at http://www.crcglobal.org/

Picture This!

2010-02-05T06:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever found yourself reading a good book and all of a sudden you began to imagine yourself as one of the characters in the story? Or maybe you were watching a good movie and suddenly you became so engaged in the storyline that you saw yourself acting out the part you connected with best?

Now picture that! All of us at one time or another put ourselves in the middle of some director’s script only to realize that we are not the actual actors or actresses in the movie, but our passion for the role or the story became so real and close to our heart.

December 2009, I was in Uganda and had the opportunity to visit an orphanage during my trip. I put myself in the story, as I listened to the director of the orphanage share the daily struggles and heartache of caring for these children. Due to the lack of sponsorships, some of the children did not get to eat during the day, but I get to eat when I want too. My children get to eat everyday. I listened as they sent the children back home at the end of their day at the orphanage, as they coaxed them how to protect themselves from guardians who would rape and abuse them. I put myself in the picture and saw how difficult it would be for me to give this kind of advice to five year olds. By placing myself in this picture my heart ached and was torn with grief. I left that country determined to sponsor as many children I could so that they could experience a better life.

Over the last twenty-five days, America became a part of a picture when the nation of Haiti was hit with one of the worst earthquakes ever. Personally, I tried to put myself in the picture by being a mother who was thankful for being alive, but yet devastated because I could not find my children. Better yet, being a mother who had to bury her husband and children after pulling them from the rubble. Herein is a role that I would struggle to play and opt to give to another.

However, these are the moments when we must refuse to shut up the bowels of our compassion, and step into the picture with our hearts willing to serve in any way we can. Many of us cannot take a trip to Haiti and get in the picture, but we can put our money into the picture.

Today, take a moment and decide to get into the Haiti picture. The director is auditioning for roles. What role will you play in helping life to be better for someone else?

Find an organization that you can link to and put your resources into the picture. If you do not have one, link to http://www.crcglobal.org/ today and become a role player for the good of others.

Is There Anything I Can Boast About?

2009-12-31T12:23:00.000-08:00

The year 2009 is swiftly coming to an end. Many of us ask the question “where did the year go?” We then proceed to reflect and examine our lives throughout the year and make assumptions that we’re able to salvage some good out of the year based upon our own ability or means.

We look at our lives and we say, “At least I have my health, if I don’t have anything else”. But can we really say that? We can’t boast in our prosperity of health because life existed only because God allowed it to be. (Prov. 3:7-8)

Some of us look at our jobs and say, “Well, my skills and education allowed me to have a job at the end of the year even in the midst of a recession.” Not. Your skills and education have nothing to do with you remaining employed. God gave you the skills and He showed favor for you in the sight of man. (James l:l7)

“When I look at my family and the children I birthed, I am ending my year with memories.” True. Memories are always extremely good to have in our lifetime, both good and bad. However, we would not have these memories if God didn’t give us the seeds to procreate and bring forth life. Such memories would not exist without this act of nature. (Deut. 30:9; Ps. l27:5)

“Alright, what do I say to all that I possess by way of purpose and ministry?” Everything that we own comes from God. We don’t own anything. We are just stewards over what we are enjoying on this earth.
(Ps. 24: 1)

So my friend, in a nutshell, we can’t boast about health, family, marriage, purpose, jobs, talents or even ministry. Everything we take pride in, God allowed it!

But there is one thing that our Heavenly Father has allowed us to boast in--our salvation.

“May it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our
Lord Jesus Christ. Through which the world has been crucified
To me, and I to the world” – Galatians 6:14 NASB

So during this holiday season, when you are sitting around making memories with loved ones, boast in the right things. Teach others about what is truly important in life. (Deut. 6:4-9)

Make mention of not only how God sent His son into the world, but the life of salvation and purpose that His son allows us to end each year.

Enjoy the rest of your moments this year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Never Can Say Goodbye Immortalized

2009-12-30T10:18:00.000-08:00

”Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid of hold of it yet; but one thing I do forgetting what lies behind and reaching towards what lies ahead” Phil. 3:13
In August of 2009, one musical icon known as Michael Jackson was immortalized. This surprising event shook the music industry, as well as our nation who grew up singing the words to this favorite song “Never can say good‐bye.” As I watched loved ones, family and friends say good‐bye to their icon the feelings displayed were remorseful and devastating to see. Saying good‐bye to loved ones is never easy, no matter how hard you work to put the words in the right place. Have you ever thought that is the same way it is when it comes to saying good‐bye to old ways of thinking or habits? You stand in the mirror mimicking the words, “it’s time to say good‐bye to this.” That “this” is whatever keeps us trapped in our yesterday. But as soon as you walk away, you begin rationalizing how it may not be necessary to say good‐bye totally. Paul, must have felt this emotion when he said, “I do not regard myself as laying hold of it YET.” In other words, I may not have all the right words or emotions right now or at this moment... BUT, I must come to the place in my life where I must say good‐bye to things that keep me paralyzed in my past. As hard as it may seem, I must disconnect so that I can lay hold to what is before me. Even our loved ones who we have had to say good‐bye to would want us to disengage from our disappointed, hurtful emotions so that we can lay hold of our tomorrows and share the rest of their story with others. There may have been some traumatic situations or relationships that have attached themselves to your life but get the nerve to say good‐bye to the emotional damage it has done, so that it will no longer stagnate your life’s journey and dreams. Today, make a decision to let it go out of one hand and with the same energy and moment take the other hand to reach toward your future.